People go through day after day without ever stopping to check in with themselves. How are they feeling? What are their thoughts? What is happening in their body? If you don’t stop to connect with yourself and your experiences, how can you ever know how you’re actually doing and what you need to change to make it better?
We often get distracted once work is over. Make dinner for yourself or the family. Clean. Make lunches. Then we use TV and social media to check out. As a human race, we have been taught to be distracted from ourselves. This just keeps you small and in a box. Live your life and keep striving to better yourself.
Everything is viewed as bad. Sad feelings? I don’t want to feel them because it makes me uncomfortable. Excessive negative self-talk? I need to distract myself so I don’t hear the same wheel spinning over and over again. Unhealthy behaviors? Pretend they don’t exist or that it’s not a problem.
You need to feel the uncomfortable feelings. You need to challenge and change your mindset around your negative and limiting beliefs. You need to acknowledge your unhealthy coping strategies, so you can choose new behaviors to be the person you want to be in the world
I hate to tell you, but you have to deal with your shit! Your life will never change if you don’t tackle the things that are troubling you. It’s not about perfection. Take it slow. Choose one thing to work on at a time. It doesn’t have to be daily. No all-or-nothing thinking and definitely no perfectionism. Those two will kill any forward movement quicker than my dog, Koko, eating a treat. Patience, kindness, compassion, open curiosity is all you need.
So what exactly is self-reflection? Self-reflection is taking the time to go inward and take a personal account of your mental, emotional, behavioral, physical, and spiritual processes. This can be done in a meditative or mindful state. You can write things down in a journal. Think about things quietly in your head or speak them out loud.
Whatever way you decide is the right way for you. Just do it.
Set an intention to check in with yourself daily or every couple of days. You can choose the morning or the end of the day. Ask yourself what am I feeling emotionally? Speak those emotions out loud. “I feel anxious.” It’s just an emotion. It has no power over you. Check in with your thoughts. What are my thoughts saying about me now? “You shouldn’t go to that party because people will look at you and judge you.” Challenge this thought. What’s the worst case scenario? They do talk about you. They are projecting their own insecurities if that’s the case. What does my body feel right now? Do a mental scan and speak out loud the sensation and location you are feeling in your body. Ask yourself if there were any events recently that were troubling to you. Why? What happened? Who was involved? How do you feel about them? Do you like be around them? If not, why are they still in your life? How did you behave? How did it make you feel? What were your thoughts about yourself? What would you like to do differently?
Here are some things to ponder on a bigger scale in your self-reflection:
- How is my life going? Am I happy where I am?
- What are my goals for my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being?
- What things would I like to improve upon in my life?
- How are my social relationships?
- What are my philosophies about life, spirituality, the world, the Universe, etc.?
Find out more about your inner knowing and connecting with your body in the multi-award-winning book Embodied: How to Connect to Your Body, Ignite Your Intuition, and Harness Universal Energy for Healing.